Sunrise on the Mekong River
I have recently had a number of people tell me that they think I am “brave” for living my retirement years as an adventure, traveling the world and drinking in life as fast as I can. They relay to me dangers that they have heard about on the news, happening in places that they have never been before and they tell me that I need to pay more attention, worry more about “things” and be more cautious. They tell me of the latest sensational news from “somewhere” and apply it to everything beyond their own borders. I know they are well-meaning and only have my best interests at heart, but I don’t think they completely understand anything about my biggest fear. They don’t know what really scares me.
[pullquote]The fears that had been cynically fed to me by a manipulative media for years, ceased to matter when I didn’t have access to them.[/pullquote]
Before I began my retirement adventure I was a news junkie. I, like many of the people I knew at the time, would stay glued to the news for no other reason than to have our collective fears and biases confirmed. Even though some of the things that we saw had almost zero chance of significantly impacting our lives we would tune in because we liked being entertained, we liked being outraged and on some level, we liked having “enemies” and something to fear. There was something in us that kept drawing us to news items that made us enjoy feeling like we were on some sensational but undefined precipice and in danger of losing our way of life to foreign influences or some other irrational fear.
Then, in 2011 I sold everything, retired and moved to a remote beach in Mexico. I had no television, the Internet would barely work well enough to gather anything but news headlines and the newspapers that I saw would often be months old. All the news that I used to spend so much time urgently worrying about lost its importance. The fears that had been cynically fed to me by a manipulative media for years, ceased to matter when I didn’t have access to them.
The time on the beach allowed me to concentrate on things that I found important without distraction. I was able to think more clearly and see things that were lost to me in the 24-hour news cycle. Soon I came to realize that the things I had been taught to fear were an intentional distraction designed to keep me tuned in through the next commercial break. Someone more suspicious than me might say, that the fear and xenophobia we are sold by the media, is like a magician’s sleight of hand trick made up to distract us from real dangers to our way of life. Whatever the news was feeding me; I began to see how little of it was actually important, discount almost all of it, and move on to more substantial fears. My biggest fear, is a fear I can’t shake.
[pullquote]in the end we are all dead. The question is; how much life do we get out of the time that we have?[/pullquote]
I am not brave. I am terrified by having my precious time here on earth consumed by things that don’t matter, things beyond my control or things that don’t add value to my life. I am afraid that if I don’t keep my guard up I could fall back into an ordinary life, full of the drug of distraction when there is so much that is extraordinary and easily in reach. I fear wasting my most important asset – time—and missing things like the ancient temples of Bagan, the Nomad Festival in the Himalayan Mountains of Bhutan, the sunrise at Angkor Wat or any of thousands of other wonders to see. I fear missing out on new friendships and experiencing new perspectives and cultures. More than hardship, discomfort or injury, my biggest fear is looking back with regret and realizing that I wasted my precious time on things that I am not passionate about. That I had been paralyzed into inaction by irrational worries.
Travel is my biggest passion, but I am sure you have things you are passionate about and you don’t want inconsequential things distracting you from them. Yes, it is entirely possible that something terrible may happen to me while I am out here loving life, but the inescapable truth for all of us is — no matter where or how we choose to live our lives — in the end, we are all dead. The question is; how much life do we get out of the precious and finite time that we have? My biggest fear is realizing I forgot to live.
This is a really interesting read, thank you for sharing.
It’s interesting – first it was the news coming out of Bangkok, and now it’s Hong Kong. My family are worries that I’m going to be walking into a ‘war zone’ (their words, not mine) and they have come to the conclusion that these are not good places to visit because of what solely the news agencies are telling them.
Safety is important, especially if you’re travelling alone as I will be, but, a lot of my decisions will be sensible and based on information from reliable sources of information such as the Foreign Office which in the UK, has really good up to date information on where not to go.
HI Darren,
It really is a balance. There are some places in the world where I wouldn’t want to travel right now but these are far fewer than what the media, or even the State Department / Foreign Office, would have you believe. I am living in Thailand now. Without commenting on the reasons for and politics of martial law, Thailand seems safer now that there are warning than before the warnings were issued. I lived in Mexico for a year. “Everyone” told me how dangerous it was, but if you look at the statistics, the area where I was living was safer than where “everyone” was living. Common sense and seeing for yourself goes a lot further than conventional “wisdom” of people who apparently enjoy worrying and take their news without skepticism.
I am sure I have said in the past after reading other posts that they were your best. My friend, this is your best. I was just talking to a friend yesterday that all this fear mongering going on right now is simply a replay of what we have already been through. I am getting more and more impatient to cut lose again. I know that feeling of being completely out of touch and it is the most freeing feeling. Fear is much more apparent here in the US than in any of the countries we travel.
I could have written this piece. I wish I had written this piece. It says perfectly what so many choose not to hear… instead drowning it out by turning up the sound on the fear machine and burrowing further down into the blankets. Before I left the US recently to move back to Mexico, a country I had grown to love in the 10 years I lived here in the ’90s, many people tried to talk me out of it. I heard, “They’ll cut your head off there, you know,” and similarly unbelievable but firmly believed nonsense. I also used to be a news junkie… when I was still living depressed and repressed in the US. I hardly care anymore. I’m not afraid of Mexico. Or pretty much any other place in the world. But I am very much afraid of not living my life. Thanks for writing this for me.
An excellent article, Jonathan.
I envy you your freedom to do as you wish right now. I pray mine (retirement and as much travel as I could want) will come soon.
Danielle
Thanks Dani,
What I have done is not at all remarkable. The key is getting your consumption under control and choosing what works for you. I like to call it “the luxury of little”.
It is the only way to live life, we do the same as you by enjoying every minute and taking each day
as it comes. We moved back to Hong Kong a few years ago after a stint in UK, glad we did and have no regrets – can’t see us going back! We’ve never been put off travelling anywhere by what is reported in the news, perhaps my first taste of living abroad (in Nigeria) toughened me up!
So many people live in fear, scared of what they may lose instead of hopeful of what they may find. It is sad. (Hong Kong is one of our favorite cities!)
Hi Jonathan, my husband and I are travellers – and like you we do it by living in different places and jumping off from there. We are contemplating moving to Portugal – to the Silver Coast somewhere. It’s great to read about other people doing the things that we do. And you’re right – we have to make the most of life while we can. But so many people put up a lot of resistance to it and pressurise us about the way we live – and I do worry about not developing a community sense because we’re always moving. Still life is fun, life is good, life is an adventure. Keep on travelling. Best wishes Rosemary